Today I Cried

Dear Beloved,

Today I cried and it resonated with the universe.

I would normally try to take notes and either release them intermittently or as part of a subsequent Sermon, but this time…  This time it is different.  See.  we find it so easy to hold ourselves back.  To convince ourselves that we are not accomplished, not worthy, not important.  That somehow it benefits society, God or the universe to hold us down.  We think so low of ourselves that we don’t see ourselves as powerful, intelligent, gifted beings.  Rather subordinate animals compelled to compete in a rat race that is designed to distract us while some fat rats stockpile cheese.  All the while fearing the race is biased against our color, sex or type of rat.  Today, I cried because I, to an extent, hit bottom.  I felt like no matter what I did, things were collapsing around me.  So I cried.

And it was in crying that the universe heard my plea.  So the universe cried with me in the form of rain.  It was during this storm that I learned to let go.  I released an inhibition and walked with my Queen into the downpour.  See.  She had been encouraging me to feel the rain, as a Bob Marley quote I recently shared suggests.  But it wasn’t until today that the rain washed away my pain.  That as I and the universe cried in unison I began to release those struggles.  That insecurity…  That fear of failure…  That fear that the next chapter in my story will be anything less than spectacular.

As I cried today I embraced that a major life change or two was imminent.  And that that is a good thing.  That just because something is all you ever knew, doesn’t mean that it is all that you will ever know…   The rain reminded me that I have the power to manifest rain, who has time for insecurities?

A few years back Royce The 5’9 released a track that went on to become an OFF THE TOP Classic.  In general ‘Shake This‘ speaks of shaking off insecurities and past mistakes.  In the rhyme that most resonated with me Nickle describes himself as ‘self-loathing like I ain’t chosen.’  I suspect you are a step or two ahead of me on this one, but in case you are not, take a moment or two for self reflection.  Remind yourself of some of your dreams and goals….  Than reflect on your talents…  If they conflict or don’t work together reasonably well, you may want to keep reflecting.  But I suspect there is something you are good at.  Some talent that people compliment you on.  A skill that others have or would pay you to practice.  Something that, if you let your ego go for a moment, you may even feel you are one of the best to do it…  Something you were CHOSEN to do.  If you are not doing it.  And I mean doing it consistently and frequently…  Than reflect on why and get out of your own way.  You too can manifest rain if you desire strongly enough.

One Love